Marital/family Interaction Patterns

Jason Wells “...in good times and in bad...to have and to hold.” Promises of presence and support undergird most marriage vows, although their actual meaning is determined by each couple. Contemporary couples expect to create a companionate marriage, a union with emotional connectedness at its core. Spouses are expected to be best friends or emotional partners as well as to serve instrumental or pragmatic roles. Expectations for a companionate marriage place extensive focus on communication, particularly nurturing or interaction. This emphasis on emotional substance in marriage appears to be related to enhanced well-being for both women and men but is especially important for women (Williams, 1988). Yet this expectation can place high pressure on men because their friendship history may not include this dimension. Women are more likely to have a greater history of emotionally based same-sex friendships, and may have different definitions for “best friend.” The communication and gender related assumptions underlying such first marriages are (1) the couple serves as the architect of the system, (2) marital communication, the core of the family system, incorporates gender-based interaction patterns.