How a Mormon Ended Up at Union Theological Seminary: A Step Toward Racial Justice and a Better Church

Four years ago, I was living my best life as a touring cappella singer. The sum of ambition to make great and meaningful art create the first group play Superbowl halftime show. For years, photo colorfully lit MetLife stadium lock screen gentle constant reminder that goal. Today, have just finished year graduate school studying Black liberation theology in hopes more complete enriching Mormon validates marginalized folks and, by extension, creates space is line with integrated diversified New Testament church Christ intended. As much love restored gospel Church, this last place saw myself.I used clown returned missionaries who couldn't seem let go their missions. They would continue dress like weeks after return, talk endlessly about missions, pursue academic tracks led working Church education. In retrospect, see loving gospel, scriptures so you want be your vocation isn't worst thing, but, at time, it read fanaticism me. loved too, but felt ministry lay different path aggressively acted accordingly.Time tell me, however, wasn't academy all—at least for season life. student, stressed me out. prepared graduation, got rejected every program had hoped improve odds advancing professional career, including only grad which applied. When Teach America second ego enough forsook academia arts no intention return.In decade since made decision, lot has happened ultimately reoriented back theological studies particular. First, job took graduating from Brigham Young University Boston, Massachusetts. immediately noticed refreshing difference between congregations attended Utah Boston. These were most educated people ever worshiped adult life, safest being authentic self church. Some Saints also organized local events Latter-day Saint scholars, thinkers, influencers, leaders share expertise, experience, testimonies. event featured discussion on womanist Harvard- Howard-educated scholar. could not gotten anywhere else world.Second, murders Trayvon Martin Michael Brown happened. weren't unarmed men gunned down police or white vigilantes, they high-profile cases age social media. millennials what Rodney King Gen Xers. Their deaths catalysts become rallying affirmation organization #BlackLivesMatter, addition other civil rights organizations. Everyone an opinion. troubling ones were, regrettably, members Jesus Saints—people considered friends, I've prayed preached with. callous response pain—my pain, family's community's pain—was inexcusable any Saints. To matters worse, going balm Gilead should've been members. Most time our pain ignored, if mentioned all, straight up minimized. There mourning those mourn comforting stand need comfort. went interfaith vigils properly, almost always present. accept do face racism pain—not same literally lynched state threatening corrupt political systems oppressed marginalized.Third, exclusion policy November 2015 many Saints, myself, something crisis. Somewhere intersection close associations queer people, inability theologically rationally justify such policy, disdain bullying discriminatory behavior, confront faith figure out how reconcile two. Ultimately, question pain—our already validated when honestly looked it. What needed come terms knowledge requires person faith. Peace didn't hold institutions accountable we scriptures, meant challenging denied imago dei siblings, all alike unto God, God respecter persons. Anything less cowardice dishonesty part. alone feelings, palpable coming years.Fourth, 2019, during annual LDS Legacy Conference, prompted keep conversations similar conference. folk able way centered Blackness—a honored while seeing strength wherever possible, using tool much. conference liberating experience. Saint, I'm one identities constantly scrutinized go. But event, body release tension holds. don't explain existence anyone space. am guest. home. wanted myself others struggle fit because look different, differently, think otherwise needs. too deserve where feel home.This desire gave birth now Beyond Block, podcast running few goal centering Mormonism. discusses Come, Follow Me lesson each week prioritizing reading marginalized. My co-host, Derek Knox, theologian friend, seemed perfect conversation partner pretty together, turn into Block episode. show modest loyal following. writing, there hasn't congregation visited United States someone familiar day records transferred ward York, tapped substitute teach seminary work done Block. It validating know heals soul helps gives them voice, empowers affirm these, enriched faith.The show's popularity opportunity speak several publications. People thought ideas equal parts life-giving provocative, though saying anything particularly radical scope sacred texts. That point, though. We tools margins closely find them. All lens, can difficult institution overwhelmingly we're taught ways presumably cis dudes born Jim Crow era.Bear mind: knew doing important work, it's side. still ambitions religion are concerned. States’ climate demands Church. younger becoming increasingly disaffected it, feeling nothing relevant contribute lives urgent faced. troublingly silent issues race, despite having rich solutions, refuses engage real interrogation policies alienate women, represent three times active membership men, relegated marginal positions power leadership. believe stumbling block retention missionary efforts among us Christ, frustrated Side hustle not, put position address these problems. With new influence opportunities, quickly occurred relative amateur world theology, yet Mormonism, consistently getting called frankly, underqualified. regularly studied thoroughly engagement did, keenly missing learning experiences.As final 2019 Conference inspired podcast, invited give (now published Fall issue Dialogue). Perhaps sourced liberally, multiple suggested looking divinity schools. received compliment heartily laughed suggestion. job. hated school. suited (and don't). And degree professionally? bad undergrad useless; advanced useless. on, better education, especially church, became apparent. rising racial tensions States, busier. At own, gaining study intelligently imaginatively, nor did critically public square. education likely wouldn't progress intentionally use available, institutions.By summer 2020, open idea decided apply some happen. Around elders quorum president through discernment process helped clarify goals role divine night sent off applications, in, good that. Sure enough, acceptance letters months later relieved energized. news good, right. Whatever future, Spirit confirm prepare it.I applied another primarily its prestige. pushing toward school, stone's throw home, somewhat familiar, potentially connection there, popular venture studies. housed Cornel West, provocative brilliant thinkers philosophy, politics, pass influential figure. even him whole paragraph application essays. rejected. twist fate, though, he very falling-out university taking his talents Union Theological Seminary, begun teaching career. hadn't Union, actually sense. frequently referenced biographies theologians Union. idol creator James Cone, spent career notable students, Very Reverend Dr. Kelly Douglas, founders known her trailblazing addressing sexuality homophobia professor dean there. Further, justice elective subject baked school's culture curriculum itself. short, Seminary institutional expression Christian prophetic identity. Gaining access resources Columbia's various schools well live York benefit either. accepted scholarship offer following month. Serendipitously, West teacher advisor well.Since here, much—at scrutinized. meeting told encounters Mormonism part expanded crop Harvard recruits 1970. relatively admissions facilitated influx Chase N. Peterson, Saint. light, inclusive foreign him. seminarians curious know, care religious affiliation moves others. How does liberate people? without address? say responsibility poor exploited? help break generational curses? committed resistance oppression? questions hope refine answers here.I'm knowledge, here. That's accident. Besides required obtain places prioritize affirming theologies (Black et al.) attract doesn't same. We're really conditioned to, that's tragic. Church's decision adopt American standards respectability moved away radical, groundbreaking, roots. Specifically, infections supremacy patriarchy compromised movement blurred lens view text theology. It's coincidence majority significant revelations came early days haven't lifting priesthood temple restrictions 1978. accident churches condemn Black, queer, groups underrepresented congregations, Harlem, famously neighborhood, Harlem 20 percent Sundays. Only hours home Sunday School mother's Official Declaration 2 present mother estimation, realities unacceptable lived operated margins.If change realities, talking doing. history than discriminate cause harm. outside School, quorum, Educational System, Mormon-centric spaces learn perhaps, importantly, understand today practically implement Church.There will efforts. Ever gained steam, taken offense suggest bigotry exists scripturally unjustifiable, brethren everything act slated anti-racist online course via publishing company. criticism leader's prejudice, kept course, said, ran. irony hired fight prejudice then fired calling lost peace operating strictly within parameters—an seek redress harm punishment simply critical leaders—is necessary changes about.However, making fact This labor love; grateful closer God's words emotional cost is, tinge resentment position. Activism, informed activism, Plan A. anyone's. brought immense joy prior entering exhausting work. suits disability, processing disorders, inexperience, neurodivergence aggravate enjoy recognize importance be. resent entire space—a neither equipped in—is bigoted idolatry community, should disciples Christ. No spend defending gender, orientation, ability, socioeconomic status, identities. I'd believe, appropriate tribute evidence commitment navigate love.At end day, sharper instrument Lord's peace, conclusion can't comes things, none adequate world's own issues. One reasons started facilitate discussions aren't having. studies, hoping may eventually, build mobilize shifts idols supremacy. manage field study, I'll ensure stands shoulders individuals Cathy Stokes, Darius Gray, others, further legitimized, grow, long gone. effort Zion.