Falling in Love with Everyone: Lessing’s Letters to Smithie at the Keep, University of Sussex

‘I do like you Smithie, because I can always say what to you.’11 Lessing Smith, 22 June 1945, Doris Papers, The Keep, Sussex, Reference SxMs62/2/1 Letters 11-20 c18/4/45-19/7/45. They had been in a loose group of about twenty, all vaguely left-wing, literary, having affairs with each other every kind sexual combination … It was the early part war; they were waiting be called up; it clear retrospect that deliberately creating mood irresponsibility as sort social protest and sex it.22 Lessing, Golden Notebook (Flamingo Modern Classic, 1993), 86. References henceforth included text GN. Paul, shut into officers’ mess men who for most he considered morons, missed serious conversation, though course would never have said so; daresay reason attached himself us first place we offered it. Another love me. But then all, at various times, other. was, Paul explain, ‘obligatory times live many people possible.’ (GN 88) Dear If heart comrade still beats even faintly your breast please sit down compose list 30 or fifty questions an educational nature party next Sat. Both G. [Lessing’s husband, Gottfried] too busy Please try not high brow Remember adjust yourself provinces. Yours haste, Tigger44 Wednesday Aug 44. SxMs62/2/1-11 1-10 6/1 signs herself Tigger on her letters until she leaves Rhodesia 1949. Her friends time refer by nickname.55 Tigger’s origin is from A.A. Milne. Lessing’s relationship nickname becomes more ambivalent: remained left Rhodesia, nothing stop comrades using Nicknames are potent ways cutting size. Tayler, Wisdom, last fitting me less than others. Also Comrade Tigger. This personality expected brash, jokey, clumsy, ready good sport, laugh herself, apologize, clown, confess inability. An extrovert’ (Doris Under My Skin, Volume One my Autobiography, 1949 (London: HarperCollins Publishers, 1994) 89). In this letter already hear characteristic quasi-flirtatious, teasing tone, taunting musically knowledgeable Smithie being ‘highbrow’, setting him up representative empire’s Oxbridge-based centre versus own provincial periphery Southern where destined remain five years, dreaming London. Already see meanings word ‘party’ starting blur: cannot tell whether talking Communist event alcohol music. another August 1944, insists must accompany subcommittee meeting Left Club: ‘Furthermore, can’t drunk’, writes. A poem writes initial period speaks flavour these days: Now Cambridge one loves four, two three, Depending one’s whim, jeu d’esprit. And Wing intellectuals find Immorality aid Mind (In England) but tropic shores Monogamy safer, bores. claims ‘shows better Pope moment’.66 correspondence rich, exuberant, when personal political events experiences distressing (such father’s illness eventual death). Documenting subjects diverse writing rewriting practices, Soviet Union politics, exasperation monogamy, race racism frustration work typist, feelings discovering pregnant, protracted death, voracious appetite reading (Hopkins Proust Joyce always, lot Woolf), opinions film Life Death Colonel Blimp Marx Brothers beyond, mid late 40s extraordinary, fierce, often hilarious, even, especially emotional circumstances describe painful. also inevitably moving. Reading them, overwhelmed admiration 20s going through series turbulent events, while maintaining fierce commitment sceptical willingness entertained world around her. Since it’s let speak some extracts letters, I’ll use essay primarily point toward recurrent themes archive. First background details frame correspondence. written 1944 final May 25, 1993. All Sussex collection (although get strong sense says since responding something said, arguing him.) his introduction archive, contains card sent apart phone box Capetown.77 Leonard Introduction ‘Smithie’ Collection, Sussex. bulk compelling, chart life shortly before finally acquires visas son, Peter, move London Most typewritten, composed snatching away typewriting jobs. talks baby Peter lap, there’s evidence banging keys (25 March [1947])88 25th [1947]. Folder SxMs62/2/64-73. few longhand; include unpublished (as well later published) poetry. small number types carbon paper addressing three once (Smithie, Coll John). fall off drastically after apparent rupture Smithie. To contextualise this: 1948, she’s nearing end possibility actually moving gets England. did happen; 11 November [1948], tells decided flat share woman instead. ‘It lovely go you, peace, somewhere. don’t lets rush living together,’ 18 April 1949, right arrival England, suggesting face man away, soon arrives cease while.99 18th (April?) SxMs62/2/124-133. When pick again 1950s, much shorter, tone casual distant, their sparse sporadic 60s 70s 90s. 1947–48 voluminous, frequent, affectionate, argumentative gossipy. day someone saying write biographical thing upset me: thing, made feel if dead, far am concerned haven’t started yet. For another, person could see. think I’m conceited, really – any chance keeper, tied pink tape somewhere, dear burn bloody things ….1010 5.12.54 SxMs62/2/134-143; 131-140 7.11.54-13.12.64. ‘… remember attitude hold view personal, public ….’1111 21st 1973, SxMs62/2/144-158. dont will ever anything good. There on. sweet offer take non-existent book home when-if- send market poems wrote good? doubt make poet, why shouldn’t writer.1313 6th January 1946, p. 3, SxMs62/2/23-32. trouble novel varies mood. How hell Tolstoy ten years keep same beginning end? cant possibly started?1414 ‘About April.’ [45] 6/2 Darling happen copy John Donne Hopkins, them me, remit return post. Have read theirs except anthologies, which unsatisfactory.1515 12 6/1. frequently expresses running commentary. critique D.H. Lawrence runs over several ongoing infatuation Woolf, Lighthouse. On 14 December 1947, has South African publisher, Nietzsche. According her, half Nietzsche Blake. ‘The Blake wonderful, so Neichze. (Cant bothered look spelling now)’.1717 14th Dec SxMs62/2/84-93 81-90 communists should understand works art precious (the mankind produces) artist chooses middle revolution witty folly revolution, sheer joy paradox, encouraged creation hazardous, difficult obscure, there no fetters whatsoever artists.1919 7 Oct [1947], SxMs62/2/74-83 71-80 adjusted myself future question surviving terms all. everyone assured square meals roof heads flower perhaps wonderfully known.2121 71-80. supposed break devastating piece news, breath, eyes, & turn page— baby. Space recovery.2222 Smith Feb 2, Folder: SxMs 62/2/33-42 Oh Smithie! Never mind. weep. Do weep? No! lie dark consider certain astonishment again. Of course. shall come Britain Catherine, cottage sea discuss upbringing children. violent feminist week, state mind disapprove of.2323 62/2/33-42. ‘Catherine’ name uses unborn child eventually become Peter. expect back orgy writing. G No wont. help novel, After only 27, 26? think, I’ve married twice produced kids, expected, genius done learnt craft, wouldnt happening time, mind- insist else.2424 17 46 Box 436, Cape Town, want baby, here myself. matrimony. selfish, egotist, polygamous, amoral, irresponsible, unbalanced, utterly member society (And hate S.U., fortunately test moment) job, kid, write, happy member, lover without marriage drive quite crazy. Am this? know …2525 6 sends line drawing pregnant body. ‘Here picture now, see.’2626 46, reminding also, amongst desires future, drawn out, complex drama death. gauge strength dies Monday, 29 September 1947: ‘Dear Christ wish sledge hammer smash world.’2727 Throughout leading charts keen immediate its unhappiness mother’s unhappiness. She returns parents counterfactual novella/memoir, Alfred Emily, 2008, imagines different both met born.2828 Emily Fourth Estate, 2008) working material raw immediacy, death looming. These stories appear points autobiographical writings well, archive testifies connection dates letters. father birthday 1947. ‘Well darling 28.’ rereading thinking him.2929 October 81-90. nonsense, perfectly large truthful people, alive subject superstitions sorts, makes unpleasant courage admit desire tries cover up.3030 c18/4/45-19/7/45 From correspondence, comes vivid aliveness truthfulness characterizes throughout career; cut hypocrisy shine fascinated, amused, light addressed comrade/lover/editor/intellectual interlocutor valued friend. fell under spell distinctive voice correspondence; way winds between cranky flirtatious, brutally honest, sometimes vulnerable, amused. forward contribute amazingly body work.